Hats off to single parents

I never appreciate my husband quite so much as when he is away.

He's been gone this week on a "Navy buddy reunion" trip with 3 guys he shared a house with when he was in the Navy. They're in the Pacific Northwest, doing outdoorsy guy things like hiking, fishing, camping, not shaving, etc. Today is Day 8 of the trip. Because he's out in the middle of nowhere, I've heard nothing from him the entire time. (Side note... he could have at least called when he got there. For all I know his plane crashed over Iowa. Perish the thought.)

The 3 kids and I have had less than a wonderful time. It started off OK. Last weekend I actually managed to make pancakes. We got to church on time. The 6yo made it to his dr's appointment on Sat. My head didn't explode the entire weekend. I even cooked dinner on Sun. night. We were getting into a groove.

Then... Sun. night the 8yo had a low-grade fever. Since he'd also been coughing a lot, I decided to keep him home from camp on Mon. I didn't think he needed to be running around playing sports all day. The 6yo didn't have quite as high a fever, but he'd also been coughing, and his temp was up a bit, so since I was missing work anyway, I let him stay home, too. On Tue., it was the same. Finally, Wed. morning their temps were finally normal, so off to camp they went, but the 3yo had developed some kind of rash on Tue. night, and it wasn't any better on Wed. I knew there was no way the daycare would accept him like that, so I took him to the doctor in an attempt to have them tell me it was fine, he wasn't contagious, and here's a nice note for the daycare. Instead, I found out he had a double ear infection and pneumonia (he's also been coughing, but no fever). As for the rash, they weren't quite sure what it was, but they thought it might be shingles since it was only on his left side. They gave him antibioitics and recommended he stay home for the rest of the week. Thu. night, the 8yo was coughing so much it was keeping him up at night, so I decided to get him and the 6yo checked out just in case. After all, I'd had no clue that the 3yo was so sick. A visit to the pediatrician revealed that they also have pneumonia, though no ear infections. So they're on antibiotics as well (although they're not completely sure it bacterial as opposed to viral).

So, I have made it to work exactly ZERO days this week. I've been able to do a little bit here and there on the computer, but not much. And it leaves me wondering... what do single parents do in situations like this? Normally, the husband and I would be able to trade off responsibility for staying home so I'd at least work half a week. We don't have any family here, so it's not like Grandma can come over and watch them. The kids aren't even acting all that sick, so it's not like they're just sleeping all day, letting me get more work done from home. I'm at least fortunate that my job is flexible enough that I can take the time off (and don't even have to call it vacation). What about all those parents who are hourly employees who don't get paid if they don't work and/or are looked poorly on if they miss a whole week of work because their kids are sick? I'm just stressed because I have a lot of stuff to get done, but at least I don't have to worry about losing my job.

My employer used to have a sick child daycare set up, but they discontinued it due to lack of use. I can't fully explain why it didn't get a lot of use; all I know is that the few times I tried to use it, I was unsuccessful because they didn't have space - they could only take something like 8 kids. Ironically probably part of the problem was that it was more hassle than it was worth given that the company is so understanding of parents having to take time off for sick kids, esp. for the salaried employees.

So my experience this week has given me a greater appreciation for what single parents have to deal with, and well as giving me a greater appreciation for my husband. And, I'm going to kill him when he gets back.

PS- A few spots popped up on the 3yo's right side, so it's not shingles after all. Still don't know what it is. The only advice the pediatrician could offer on that point was hopefully it will go away by Mon. morning so we can send him to daycare. If it doesn't, then we should take him back to the dr. Gee, thanks, that's a lot of help.

And on a separate note...

Has it really been two years since I posted something?!?!?! Wow. I'll have to do better than that. Shouldn't be hard - that's pretty pathetic.

But apparently the 6yo can't go to bed w/o my assistance. And then I have some very important Pogo to play.

I hate my job

Well, let me clarify. I don't hate my job. But I hate my job in its current state.

I used to love my job. I started working in this particular position 7 yrs ago. I loved my boss - a woman I had worked for before. In fact, she brought me into this position. It was supposed to be a "rotation" that got extended and extended until I finally just faced the fact that this was where I wanted to stay and I transferred permanently.

4 yrs ago, my boss left for a different position in the same company. I was sorry to see her go, but it meant a new opportunity for me as I kind of moved into her role. I reported directly to the head of the group and had more responsibility. I finished the project I'd been working on for the previous 3 yrs, an achievement I consider to be the highlight of my career so far. Things were pretty good.

2.5 yrs ago, the head of our group left for a different position in the same company. Rather than replacing her, management gave her responsibilities to me and another woman in the group. Sounds like a great opportunity, except we were given no promotion and no additional compensation for this increase in responsibility. And we were being managed by people who really didn't understand what we did.

1 yr ago our department got a new leader who was brought in from a different company. The entire department was reorganized, but at least my group kept the same managers. They still didn't understand what we did, and definitely couldn't offer any guidance or advice except in the most general way, but they at least were familiar.

6 mos ago one manager had his position eliminated (he got another job elsewhere in the company) and the other was moved to an entire different department. Our new manager has even less idea what we do, so much so that he apparently doesn't think we do anything of value. We have been told by the director of our department that we are not really necessary - that there is no room for our group in a LEAN (read efficient) organization. Basically, by the end of the year, our jobs as we know them will be eliminated and we will be "retasked". How's that for motivation for doing your job?

I have interviewed for a position in a different department. I'm still waiting to find out about it. I applied for this job before hearing about the elimination of our group; now there's much more of a sense of urgency.

I hate waiting.

Since I know you're just dying to know

It was, in fact, 40-something degrees for a high temperature on Easter Sunday. I ended up wearing a sea-green suit (skirt and jacket) with a white blouse and slingbacks. And a long coat and hat and gloves. Not the Easter outfit I was planning on, but I got a lot of compliments anyway. I think they were just impressed I was able to wear something somewhat springy looking that was still semi-warm. I saw several women in the church pretending like it was warm outside (one particular woman comes to mind in a pink sleeveless sheath-type dress).

Oh, and we also had flurries.

Summer cannot come soon enough!

So I drowned my sorrows in chocolate and passed out from a sugar coma at 11 pm.

Global Warming, My Ass!

As you can see from the dateline above, today is April 6. Sunday is Easter. I bought a very cute silk dress from Ann Taylor to wear on Easter. I bought a cute little short-sleeved shrug/bolero sweater thingy to wear over it because, you know, it can still be a little cool in April and the dress is sleeveless and light-weight. I bought some strappy sandals to go with it and figured hey, if it's a little on the cool side, I'll commit a fashion faux pas and wear hose with them.

But, it's not "a little cool". It's f-ing FREEZING out there!!! This morning when I left for work, it was 35 degrees! High today is supposed to be 45 or something. We had flurries of snow yesterday, the weather dude on the radio said possibly the same thing today, and maybe even a dusting tomorrow. High on Easter Sunday is supposed to be, again, 45 or so. WTF?!?!?! How am I supposed to celebrate rebirth and Spring and all that stuff if I'm all wrapped up in my winter woolens?

So, I may just wear a slightly warmer sweater with my silk dress, tights with my strappy sandals (which, serendipitously enough, would NOT be a fashion faux pas although apparently still a bit controversial), and dash from the parking lot to the church before I freeze my ass off.

At least I know I'll be warm in my choir robe.


NOTE: I am aware that the temperature on any given day at my particular point on the globe does not prove or disprove the occurrence of global warming. I am aware that the effect of global warming includes abnormal weather patterns, causing extreme and "unseasonable" weather. And I am aware that the preponderance of data indicates that the overall average atmospheric temperature of the Earth is, in fact, increasing. But it makes for a dramatic title, don't you think?

So, I was reading this really cool blog...

And, well, it turned out to be mine! Whodathunkit? I don't even remember writing that stuff. Hmmmm...

So anyway, it inspired me to maybe write something. Cuz, you know, it's been a while. But it's also 11:24 pm and I really need to be getting to bed. But I'm not really tired because I've been sick and slept pretty much from Tuesday afternoon till Thursday morning. I guess it's time to start the cycle of sleep deprivation all over again.

So, anyway, just a quick drive-by from me tonight. But I swear I will soon vent my spleen about my frickin' frackin' thesis advisors, income taxes, and other fun topics.

Breaking News

Hmmm... various news sites are now stepping up and declaring Webb the winner in the Virginia Senate race. Rumor has it that Allen is not going to drag this out and will concede. We shall see...

I knew that's how it would turn out. I just figured it would drag on longer. I'm pleasantly surprised that it looks like it won't. But... let's just say I won't fully believe it until I see it.

Proud to be an American

Today, I am happy. The Democrats have taken back control of the House of Representatives. And I'm confident that they will have control of the Senate as well once George Allen faces reality and concedes. Everyone I voted for yesterday won their races. Rick Santorum, one of the biggest bigots in government, was ousted. Missouri passed a ballot initiative in favor of stem cell research. Arizona blocked a marriage amendment. A black liberal is now the governor of Massachusetts.

There are a few things I wish had gone differently. I'm not thrilled that Arnold is still the governor of California, or that many states passed the marriage amendments on their ballots. But then, Donald Rumsfeld is resigning.

So yeah, I'm happy.

Now I truly hope that our duly elected representatives can grow up and act like adults and start actually working to improve things in and for this country. I don't want to see either side blocking legislation just because they can't let the other side win. I truly hope that these new Senators and Representatives don't forget how and why they got where they are. I know that lawmaking is a messy business, but there's got to be a better way than what's been going on the last 6, 8, 10 yrs.

Negotiations and Love Songs

Living with another person is hard. Living with four other persons is even harder. Living with four other male persons is even harder. For me, anyway.

Don't get me wrong... I love my family. And I think I would be very lonely if I didn't have them. And I, of course, would be absolutely devastated if, say, they were to be wiped out in a horrible accident on the way home from the park this afternoon.

But the fact that they're all at the park right now while I'm home "working"... heaven.

See, I'm an introvert. Meaning that interacting with other people is draining for me. It doesn't matter how much I like the people or how much fun I'm having at the time. I still need time alone. Time when I don't need to worry about anyone else's wants or needs.

So what does this have to do with negotiating?

Well, Darling Husband and I have these three kids that we need to tend to. And we also both have a lot of other stuff we want to work on when we're home. My big albatross is my Ph.D. dissertation, which I've been working on for about 8 yrs now. I want to get this thing done. No, I NEED to get this thing done. I don't even care about the subject matter any more; I just want to be DONE. But I also work full time. And have all the other household things that need doing. Not to mention things like eating, sleeping, bathing, exercising -- things I need to do to take care of myself.

Life would be so much easier if I just didn't need to sleep.

But, see, Darling Husband also has things he wants/needs to work on. But these things are more directly related to the maintenance of our household: grocery shopping, mowing the lawn, painting Eldest Child's bedroom, and other projects around the home and garden.

So every weekend we do the negotiation dance. This is what I want to accomplish today. What do you want to accomplish today? OK, I'll take charge of the kids in the morning if you take them in the afternoon. Well, Middle Child and Baby are sleeping now, so can I leave them with you while I take Eldest Child with me to the grocery store?

And sometimes I want to be selfish. Look, I've been working on this damn dissertation for EIGHT YEARS now. I NEED to finish it this year or I will go stark raving mad. So, no, I don't want to take charge of the kids for 4 hrs this morning because that's 4 hrs I won't be able to work on my dissertation.

And then when I do get time to "work", I end up spending some of that time checking e-mail, catching up with my online friends, and posting blog entries, and then I feel guilty. But I need to have a life, too!! Which is why sometimes I think life would be so much easier if it were just me, by myself. If I didn't have to worry about everyone else, I'd have more time to work AND play and I wouldn't have to feel so guilty.

Sometimes I think I should just go hole up in a mountain cabin or something and just bang away at this until it is done. Because life just keeps getting in the way.

But I'm sure I'd be incredibly lonely, too.